A day in the mind of an obese person



constant judgement from society



I often ask myself what goes through the mind of an obese person, so I took it upon myself  to do some research. The questions that always seemed to linger in my mind are “How do obese people perceive themselves compared to others?”  , “Have they given up on life?”, “What lead them to let go of their bodies? “ I was always told from a young age that you are your own brand, and how you choose to build your brand and image is entirely up to you; your brand will carry you throughout your life ,first impressions always last and last impression linger the longest.

An anonymous blogger gives us a preview in a day of mind of an obsess person.



First to give you an update…. my new “Weight Watchers” motivation and hype has gone out once again… I do know that I still have to do something… and as I just continue gaining weight, this really is becoming more urgent with every passing day… somehow it still hasn’t hit me yet. Yes, seeing people laugh at me, talking about me behind my back and just giving me “the look” sure makes me want to lose weight, look normal and be a person they only look at because they think I’m “beautiful” but once I’m back with my friends that feeling ebbs too… sometimes I think having friends that accept you is a horrible thing.. Now don’t get me wrong... Obviously it’s the most perfect thing in the world but my brain works like this: If my friends can accept me like this – why can’t everybody else? And do I really need to lose weight to please those people? Every now and then a little depression runs over me… Well sometimes it runs... Sometimes it crawls… and sometimes it stays with me… It must like me more at some points in my life. Instead of letting my emotions do what they wanted (cry) I ate it all up in form of chips, chocolate, pasta, sweets – really anything I could find. Weird thing – I know it doesn’t help… I have done it many times and I only feel worse after. Not just after actually... Sometimes I feel like throwing up and I still continue eating… What in the world is wrong with me? 

This blog certainly shows us the struggles of being overweight or obese and how society perceives obese people, they are clearly marginalised. The obese blogger(and most obese people) knows that they are overweight and needs to address the problem as soon as possible but their will-power dies out very quick, depression kicks in and the cycle of seeking comfort in food gains momentum. This is a sad reality that most obese people go through daily, help from family and friends would be most ideal(exercise,healthy eating plan,motivation etc.) judging the person won’t do them justice as there is already a lot of confusion in their mind.



Has obesity become a norm amoung the African communities?



big is beautiful



To many black women, being overweight is desirable, astounding wouldn’t you say? This belief is now worsened by the idea that being thin can be equated with HIV/ AIDS virus infection. A qualitative study by Mvo et al. (1999) has shown that large body size in the African community in South Africa was perceived to reflect wealth and happiness; it is believed that if a woman is obese or overweight, the body size reflected on a husband’s ability to care for his wife and family. A man with a pot belly is considered wealthy (to a certain extent that they are given the name “Mr BEE”), these incorrect perceptions of body weight are outrageous and have all sorts of troubling implications for rapid increase in weight-related diseases.

All over the world, people go to incredible lengths to match up to the standards of beauty their culture endorses.  When a culture changes, its standards of beauty often change with it.  So to a certain extent, beauty is ‘democratic’, decided by whatever the people happen to prefer. So this brings me to ask the question “has obesity become a norm among the black community?

One of the major challenges with regard to the management and prevention of obesity in South Africa is the cultural variation in the perception of and preference for bigger body sizes, lack of education on obesity is another thing we need to look into among African communities.

Obesity: plays a big role in relationships



Depression and low self-esteem



Obese people may have fewer social and romantic relationships compared to the non-obese (http://www.tree.com/health/obesity-effects.aspx) .When it comes to finding a romantic partner, obesity appears to play a big role, especially for women. According to researchers at the Maricopa Integrated Health System in Phoenix, Arizona (2010), women are slightly more likely to be obese compared to men. Popular concepts of body image and thinness affect women more than men. Obesity self-image is more likely to be negative in women because of society's ideal of the thin woman, an ideal that doesn't have as powerful a male counterpart. For women the standards are much more restrictive. A woman with a wee bit of a round tummy might be judged negatively. There is a bit of a bias there.

It is also common for partners of overweight individuals to no longer find them sexually attractive because of weight gain. These emotions are usually denied or suppressed to prevent hurt and upset. In reality however, these emotions are blocking communication, and although difficult to confront, are only intensifying the problem further.

Address the issue



Constant fighting

Sit down and discuss the issue together, with each partner talking honestly about what you both want, and how you want to achieve it. Partners should remember to be sensitive but honest, at the same time as reassuring them that they will do everything they can to help, and that they are not alone.

Being obese can have a destructive impact on your relationships without you necessarily being aware with it. If you are unhappy about being obese you only have two options – you can either lose weight or learn to accept yourself the way you are. If you continue to allow the issue of weight to dominate your life you will never be happy and your relationships will suffer.